Still

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When I read Surprised by Motherhood by Lisa-Jo Baker, I laughed, cried, and felt understood as a mother and as a woman amazed by the love God continues to pour into my life.  In her book she mentioned “Five Minute Fridays”, and this is my first attempt to join in the writing community.  Thank you Lisa-Jo for opening up your life on paper, and to Kate Montaug for carrying on the tradition for someone late to the party.

So here’s my first 5 minute attempt while my 1 year old napped, my 3 year old colored and the timer ticked.

Still feels so distant to my present reality most of the time.  I long for stillness, especially at 5am when my 1 year old thinks its time to wake up, or at 5pm when my littles need so much and let me know so loudly and the to-do list only has 1 thing scratched off for the day.  Still.  The word even hangs on the tip of my tongue inviting me to pause, inviting me into quiet.  As the season ramps up for Thanksgiving and Christmas, stillness can be hard to find.  There is so much to do.  So much I WANT to do.  So much busy that I choose.  And yet.  And yet, my heart needs quiet and pause and stillness.  A Sabbath rest.  Still waters.  On the days when I manage to wake up before the kids, and come quietly downstairs to the table where most of our life happens a stillness awaits.  If I can only remember to come.

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